hidely-ho ho ho

we have new neighbors
next door
they've been moving in
for the past week

I have seen so many fucking UHauls
in their driveway -
how much shit could you own?

the house is not that big!

now as for who they are,
I have no idea
and let me just say
that I do not come from the type of family
that will appear on your doorstep
with a tin full of Oatmeal raisin cookies.

fuck that. Buy your own god damn cookies

you come see me, How about that?

And the one time we tried that
about 15 years ago,
it ended in court.

My father was a very nice man.
he had more friends than I will ever have
and twice more than I would ever want,
come to think of it.
But you didn't want to cross him.
Fiery Italian.

So I was putting up Christmas lights
all day yesterday
and they never once came over
and I'll fucking play in traffic
before I go over there.

We used to have wonderful neighbors.
We all got along.
then one by one, for one reason or another,
death, retirement, divorce, mid-life-crisis
they all began to leave the village.

My family has had all of that except the divorce
and we're still fucking here.
It's not that bad here.
it's very beautiful and charming
and if you stick around through Christmas,
I light up the whole god-damn mountain
with enough mini lights to make the Griswolds jealous.

The house across the street
could sit in their front parlor
at 9pm and not have to use one light of their own
as long as they open their curtains.
Now if thats not Christmas kindness
then I don't know what is.