it's 3 AM

What could be so bad
about living in an Ashram
on the outskirts of Calcutta?

No, I'm not drunk

I'm just randomly musing
at 3 am

I'm watching Casablanca

it's a good movie

I'm all about old movies lately
Sunset Boulevard I've watched
about 10 times in the past month

"You know what you need? A pearl.
A Big luscious pearl"

Norma Desmond
calls pearls "luscious"
I like the word luscious

Luscious Ashram

sounds like a Hindu porn star.

Lauren and I
are going to go to Tanzania
and rescue little cheetah pups
or cubs
or kittens
whatever the fuck they're called
when they're small.

We're going to go on sort of
a soul searching, finding our
spirits sort of jaunt
through the African jungle.

Apparently she thinks my spirit
is lost somewhere in the Masai Mara

and all this time I thought
it was lost somewhere on the second floor
mens european designers at Barney's.

Ok, maybe part of my soul is laying
undiscovered somewhere on the dark continent
but I am almost positive the other half
is amongst the Balenciaga sport coats.

All this started when I said
"Hey, lets go away someplace cool."
and suddenly shes telling me
we should go work on some
lamb farm in the middle of Israel.
what is it called again, Lauren?
A sitzprobe? A zygote?

It's not an Ashram.
for an Ashram is a Hindu religious retreat
found all over India.

if I was an American living in India
I would open a chain of chicken tika stands
called Ashram Amali's
just for kicks.

I told Lauren I really wanted
to go to Africa next year
and she suggested going for a week
on some retreat
to care for baby cheetahs
which sounds darling, really.
But I was thinking more along the lines
of a luxury cruise along the Nile
with 6 course meals and hotel rooms
that overlook the pyramids.

This is where we differ, I suppose.

I guess one could find harmony and inner balance
amongst the cheetahs
which I believe, according to Mark
who was amongst cheetahs for a very short while
in South Africa,
you have to always be lower
than the cheetah
but he didn't say what happened
if you were higher than the cheetah

apparently if you're too high
they get threatened.

so I imagine myself in Africa
in the blistering heat
covered head to toe in khaki
searching for my spirit
while crawling around on my stomach
in fear I may get to high
and get mauled by a cheetah
humorously named Mufasa.

well, on second thought
as long as they'll pay for airfare...

"you must remember this
a kiss is just a kiss
a sigh is just a sigh."

Aww, Casablanca.
perfect movie.