smell this

So it's no secret anymore -
I like to immerse myself in fantastic smelling liquids.

Did you know that?

It's true.

I am about to share with you -
a story not about love, lust, deceit, treachery, adultery, murder
nor any other noun we hold near and dear to our hearts.

Instead, Its a story about
Addiction.

I think in my perfect world
I would have become a nose.
thats what they call people who create fragrance.

It's a very intricate art form, actually.
Takes years and years of experience
to ever be considered for a job of any esteem.

But to work for houses like Chanel or Hermes or Bond
thats celebrity status, rarely achieved.

I guess I would say I was around 11
when I first started buying GQ.
Inside I would find the ads
for the newest fragrances.
Armani, Gucci, Guerlain, Davidoff

I fell in love.

I loved them all.

I needed to have them.
As many as possible.

I would spend every penny I had.

And frankly - I still do.

But I've gotten better.
In the past year only about 4 bottles
have been given the high privilege
of making it to my dresser
to join the other 35 bottles.

Yes boys and girls - 40 bottles
count them.

And the prices of said bottles range in price
from, say dinner for 4 at Wendy's
to Dinner for 2 at Le Bec Fin.

Smell is something that often
I think I could not live without.
I sometimes think if I could only have
1 sense - I think it would be smell.

It's insanely important to me.
It's not the pleasure of pleasing others
though many of you are immensely pleased by me
and I don't even have to unzip my jeans.
It's far more selfish than that.
I do it for my pleasure.

Every day a new scent.
choosing can take seconds
or an hour.

Occasionally, it's been known
to take months.

My graduation scent
was purchased 4 months in advance
and finally opened on the day of graduation

and the kicker to that
is those of you that know me and were there
also probably know that I had no desire to be.

I really would have preferred to be home
watching the Golden Girls
which started at the same time.

I love to talk about scents.
What I hate is scents that are pre-defined
meaning womens and mens

the majority of my fragrances
are unisex
some are womens
and of course, the greater minority
are mens

I wear what I like.

And unfortuantely for my bank account
the ones I tend to like
are the financial equivalent
of 3 months of utilities.

So here we go,
my top 7 list
in no particular order:

Hermes Concentre d'Orange Vert
CREED Millesimme Imperial
Marc Jacobs for men
Bond No. 9 Nouveau Bowery
CREED Acier Aluminum
Bond No. 9 Riverside Drive
and
Guerlain Philtre d'Amour
which is a womens fragrance
that I have a half an ounce of
and that was only made for 4 months
nearly a decade ago

and lately, I've come to realize
can fetch over a thousand dollars
on eBay.

Had I known.
I'd have bought 2.
Figures.

So there you have it
yet another fascinating look
into what makes my sad little brain
function so oddly.

I'm talking of course about the amount
of alcohol that this body has probably inhaled
intranasaly over the past decade
which is a sacrifice one must make
if one wants the scent to last
till way past happy hour.

Bonsoir.