*hop*
Kelly paid attention in Calculus class. Her signature is not as good as mine. Now, don't think I'm knocking Kelly, she'll admit it. Kelly is good at Calculus and I'm not. But frankly, I'm a lot prouder of my signature then I'd ever be of Calculus.
Hey, Happy Easter, Kids.
So while getting a CAT scan on Friday - because you know me, I love me some Radiology. Anyway, the point is, while at registration, well no, before I tell you that let me just say that I forgot to wear underwear on this little adventure. I was in a hurry, now! Come On! Well, you know there is no Emily Post book on CAT Scan ettiquette. So I get there and she told me what to remove and what I could leave on. Well, needless to say that she must now think I'm an exhibitionist cause I didn't leave anything on. There were no designer duds under that gown, let me tell you.
Christ, where were we? Oh I said Christ on Easter. God damnit! Oh shit. I said God damnit on Easter. Motherfucker! Oh lord I said moth....wait thats not religious. I think I'm fine with that one.
CAT Scan, thats right. Anyway, I was at Registration. Which I think is just a ploy to let as many people in on your ailments as possible. So about 3 months ago I had Gram at registration for an xray and Gram tells everyone she meets everything about me. She holds nothing back. "Oh, he sings, he was in Pharmacy school, he does the sets for the school, he used to sing in the choir, hes a Pisces. He used to do Math-a-Thon in 2nd grade. He would never date a Virgo. He hates hamsters." Nothing is sacred to this woman. And sometimes I'm positive she makes some of it up. So she mentioned that I sang. Which, as you know, is entirely made up. The girl at the registration desk just happened to run the performances for Race for the Cure in the area. Needless to say, I am now singing at Race for the Cure. This, after just finding out 3 hours ago what exactly we're trying to cure with this race. I had no idea. Smallpox? Hangnails? Breast Cancer, as it turns out so thats fabulous, and a great cause. I won't be racing, let me assure you. I don't have the shoes for it. But I'll be singing for the cure. Cause we all have to do our part.
So back to Friday at Registration. So I didn't get this girl when I was registering but she saw me and came over and said you know "I've been meaning to call you, blah blah blah, I wanted to tell you blah blah blah." So she tells me the dates which are....I forget, let me go look at the calendar. Ok, June 17th and 18th. So I have like an hour to fill. On just one day, which I haven't decided on the day.
So it will be me. Little Broadway Standards, Jazzy ballads, revamped top 40 me. Along with 40 pound head and Jack Slam and the Shim Sham Charlottes or whatever the hell there name is. I don't know but everyone is drastically different than me. So now I need to figure out what my target audience is. Probably 20 something athletes. Fuck. They probably don't know what the hell a Skylark is, let alone that it's a song. So this is going to take some effort on my part to find a repetoire of fabulous ageless little ditties. Think I can Jazz up Eminem's Mockingbird??
Come to think of it, what is a Skylark?
So I beseach you to post comments on what I should sing. If you have any ideas. Something that Mark Lehnowsky can rearrange for me in a new style. He doesn't know it yet. Of course he'll be in South Africa at the time we're going to race for the cure. Doesn't that just break your fucking heart right there? How many of you slightly wish he gets chased by a herd of psychotic malnourished wildebeests while there? *raises his hand* Oh come on, I know I'm not the only one!
OOH! Hey, while we're posting our thoughts, let's help Hickman find a tatoo design. Post that too. Don't you love how interactive this blog is getting? Shit!
I told him to get something pierced instead. He didn't like that idea.
I always said if I got a tatoo it would be a chinese symbol, b/c we all know I'm soo Chinese. But I hear all these horror stories of people getting a chinese symbol tatoo that they think says "Fertility" or "Obedience" or "Purity" but really translates to: Golfcart or horseradish or something. That would be my luck.
I'd probably get "Fabulous" tatooed across my ass. Lord knows it'd fit. No, I'd probably get a shamrock tatooed somewhere. Except now that I know that Derek Derek Derek has one on his hipbone Lauren, I guess I can't get it there, can I?
So to end this kids, let me just say: I think the tatoo should be, of course, a basketball with "I Love the Globetrotters" written in Times New Roman.
Goodnight.
Hey, Happy Easter, Kids.
So while getting a CAT scan on Friday - because you know me, I love me some Radiology. Anyway, the point is, while at registration, well no, before I tell you that let me just say that I forgot to wear underwear on this little adventure. I was in a hurry, now! Come On! Well, you know there is no Emily Post book on CAT Scan ettiquette. So I get there and she told me what to remove and what I could leave on. Well, needless to say that she must now think I'm an exhibitionist cause I didn't leave anything on. There were no designer duds under that gown, let me tell you.
Christ, where were we? Oh I said Christ on Easter. God damnit! Oh shit. I said God damnit on Easter. Motherfucker! Oh lord I said moth....wait thats not religious. I think I'm fine with that one.
CAT Scan, thats right. Anyway, I was at Registration. Which I think is just a ploy to let as many people in on your ailments as possible. So about 3 months ago I had Gram at registration for an xray and Gram tells everyone she meets everything about me. She holds nothing back. "Oh, he sings, he was in Pharmacy school, he does the sets for the school, he used to sing in the choir, hes a Pisces. He used to do Math-a-Thon in 2nd grade. He would never date a Virgo. He hates hamsters." Nothing is sacred to this woman. And sometimes I'm positive she makes some of it up. So she mentioned that I sang. Which, as you know, is entirely made up. The girl at the registration desk just happened to run the performances for Race for the Cure in the area. Needless to say, I am now singing at Race for the Cure. This, after just finding out 3 hours ago what exactly we're trying to cure with this race. I had no idea. Smallpox? Hangnails? Breast Cancer, as it turns out so thats fabulous, and a great cause. I won't be racing, let me assure you. I don't have the shoes for it. But I'll be singing for the cure. Cause we all have to do our part.
So back to Friday at Registration. So I didn't get this girl when I was registering but she saw me and came over and said you know "I've been meaning to call you, blah blah blah, I wanted to tell you blah blah blah." So she tells me the dates which are....I forget, let me go look at the calendar. Ok, June 17th and 18th. So I have like an hour to fill. On just one day, which I haven't decided on the day.
So it will be me. Little Broadway Standards, Jazzy ballads, revamped top 40 me. Along with 40 pound head and Jack Slam and the Shim Sham Charlottes or whatever the hell there name is. I don't know but everyone is drastically different than me. So now I need to figure out what my target audience is. Probably 20 something athletes. Fuck. They probably don't know what the hell a Skylark is, let alone that it's a song. So this is going to take some effort on my part to find a repetoire of fabulous ageless little ditties. Think I can Jazz up Eminem's Mockingbird??
Come to think of it, what is a Skylark?
So I beseach you to post comments on what I should sing. If you have any ideas. Something that Mark Lehnowsky can rearrange for me in a new style. He doesn't know it yet. Of course he'll be in South Africa at the time we're going to race for the cure. Doesn't that just break your fucking heart right there? How many of you slightly wish he gets chased by a herd of psychotic malnourished wildebeests while there? *raises his hand* Oh come on, I know I'm not the only one!
OOH! Hey, while we're posting our thoughts, let's help Hickman find a tatoo design. Post that too. Don't you love how interactive this blog is getting? Shit!
I told him to get something pierced instead. He didn't like that idea.
I always said if I got a tatoo it would be a chinese symbol, b/c we all know I'm soo Chinese. But I hear all these horror stories of people getting a chinese symbol tatoo that they think says "Fertility" or "Obedience" or "Purity" but really translates to: Golfcart or horseradish or something. That would be my luck.
I'd probably get "Fabulous" tatooed across my ass. Lord knows it'd fit. No, I'd probably get a shamrock tatooed somewhere. Except now that I know that Derek Derek Derek has one on his hipbone Lauren, I guess I can't get it there, can I?
So to end this kids, let me just say: I think the tatoo should be, of course, a basketball with "I Love the Globetrotters" written in Times New Roman.
Goodnight.
posted by Mark at 20:21
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