Breakfast with Kristin

BuyABenz: we could always import you a Scandinavian hottie with an accent and a Volvo with a ski rack

VivaGlam: idk which part of that description im most excited about

BuyABenz: and a bevy of wool sweaters

VivaGlam: haha

BuyABenz: and a really really really really long last name

BuyABenz: that not even after 20 years of marriage will you ever be able to say

VivaGlam: lol or spell for that matter

BuyABenz: well I doubt even they can spell their last names

VivaGlam: prolly not

BuyABenz: most of them are still working on the oomlauts in their FIRST names

BuyABenz: you know those 2 dots over the "o"

BuyABenz: oomlaut

VivaGlam: haha yea

BuyABenz: did you know that?

BuyABenz: isn't that a wonderful word?

VivaGlam: i used to kno a lil norwegian

BuyABenz: really?

VivaGlam: i do enjoy it

VivaGlam: yea my great grandma was straight off the boat

BuyABenz: wow

BuyABenz: mine too

BuyABenz: just a different boat

VivaGlam: haha yea hers stopped in minnesota

BuyABenz: LOL!

VivaGlam: idk y they went all the way there

In-Sain

Today
I worked at my old haunt
The Medicine Shoppe
filled in for Deb
darling Deb

she needed a vacation

todays paper
front page
ABUL HUSSAIN
arrested

now for you
that probably means nothing
but for me
thats big-doins
in PharmacyLand

Abul was the druggie's
preferred doctor
because he'd prescribe anything
for anyone
and finally
after 4 months
of investigation
tipped of by PHARMACISTS!
he was arrested

Now, my old Haunt
happens to be the druggie's
preferred pharmacy
because we're independently owned
and the owner rarely turns anyone away

so today, as I expected
when I walked in
they were lined up
hoping we hadn't read the paper
to get their HUSSAIN scripts filled

can you believe
that we were completely OUT
of Percocet, Lorcet, Valium, Xanax,
Vicodin, Klonopin, Ambien, Sonata
and OxyContin
today?

Imagine that.
Silly us.

you can't certainly say
"Sorry, your doctor has been arrested,
this script is no longer valid"
to an addict.
you have to treat them with kid gloves
made of steel.
so instead you say "Not in stock."

of course then you get:
"But you had them in stock yesterday!!"
"Yes, we did. But how do you know that?"
bastards.

I hate drug addicts
and no matter how hard they try
I can always pick them out
immediately.

it's really not hard
because they are in such a state of mind
that they think they're invincible
they don't shut up
constantly making small talk
trying to take your mind away
for 1 second
so you can't concentrate
on the script
which they occasionally write themselves
some can barely stand
they think we can't see the bags
under their eyes
the rotten Meth teeth
like we can't smell the cloud
of cigarette smoke
that hangs over them
in a 30 foot radius
that you couldn't escape
if you tried
not even hanging your head
out the bathroom window
clutching a Glade plug-in
to your nostrils
while holding your breath
will get you away from that cloud.

that cloud's a bitch, kids.

after all was said and done
at 1pm, our Saturday closing time
we had filled 7 legitimate
prescriptions
but must have turned away 37 illegitimate
prescriptions

I try not to talk about work
because frankly, who cares, right?

yeah well shut your face, it's my blog.

in other news, my iPod is charging up
getting ready for an afternoon
of grass mowing

my zen of choice.

who mows their lawn to showtunes, anyone?
hands? can I see some hands?

No?

thats' right, cause I'm the only one.

August 7th

is the series finale
of Queer as Folk.

never before have i been
so depressed about something so odd.

it's only a show.
but what QAF did was far more
than just appear every sunday at 10pm

it's sentimental.
before I was out
I would rent QAF
and sneak it down in the basement
and watch it on very low volume

it was wonderful to me
to see these stories
and realize that it was ok

it may be taboo or promiscuous
but it was ok to be that way
and with it came love
love is something that is rarely shown
when the world talked about gays
what it is to be one.

it's stereotypical,
but it covers all of the stereotypes

now, i don't want to relive that
that sneakiness.
the basement.
that sucked.

so what is it exactly?

it's not the sex
though there's plenty of it
and it is nice
for the reason that
you don't often see it

they called it groundbreaking
and it was
it is

these past few episodes
leading up to the big finale
are so emotional
i'm getting sucked right in
and it's all I think about
like this shit is happening to me

surreal.

fucked up.

but if it must go, it must go
its playing the sex and the city card
too much of a good thing
gets redundant

fine.
go.

Arsenic and Old Seltzer

heres the long and the short of it -
but mainly the short of it.

Arsenic is finished
which gives me free time
i'm drinking seltzer water now
like crazy.
Jeffy likes my blog
and has become a regular visitor -
right Jeffy?
I got a new antique desk
from Jim
Its a beautiful desk
right Jeffy?
I got my hair cut
but just trimmed
and it's still long
but now it's darker brown
no red
fab
new room setup
TV works better now
watching the Golden Girls
all the time
I like Egypt
Isis and Ra
have been moved from the shelf
to my new desk
they watch me as I type
it's tremendously creepy
and somewhat inspiring
I bought them in DC
on a French trip
with Kelly and Ben
the best part of the trip
was listening to RENT on the bus
this was in the days before iPOD
back in the day.
anyway Isis broke in half once
i super glued her
and a good job too
you can't even see the crack
or seam
whatever it's called

ok - i guess you got the long of it.

back to Philly

my wonderful city
my love

i do love my philly

guess whos new home
is 2 blocks from Burberry?

mmhmm. mine.

guess who will not be home
on weekends
because he cant afford gas
because he spent it on a scarf
or socks
or underwear.
mmhmm. me.

Dana
my Dana
I spoke with her last night
just home from London
safe
missed the hub-bub by 3 days
good

i miss her
and I miss all of my Philly-ites

my darlings.

my boys.

daddy's home, kids.

Hair

give me a head with hair
long beautiful hair
shining
sheening
gleaming flaxen waxen

give me down to there
hair
shoulder length or longer
here baby
there mama
everywhere daddy daddy

hair
flow it
show it
long as I can grow it

-Gerome Ragni

I think I'm turning Japanese

when I wake up in the morning
i look drastically different
i look oriental
if you want the truth

i'm a real mess
puffy all over
eyes like slits

am I the only one?
who mysteriously morphs
to a different race
as I lay sleeping?

a lot of people
at school
could never understand
why i NEED to shower in the morn

for some reason
the shower transforms me
back to my beautiful
gorgeous
western european mixed self

don't ask me to explain it

Monday, Monday

Talked with Miss J
soo good to hear from her
she's doing well
thank you jesus

it is soo
ungodly
mercilessly
ferociously
ridiculously
HOT

what did I do to deserve this??
I'm a good boy

I'm moving to Maine
mark my words
all you bitches
who though I'd settle
in Philly or NYC
you're all bloody wrong!
Maine
I'm going as far north
on the east coast
as I can
without needing dual citizenships

so one leg is down
on Arsenic and Old Lace
all you who came
god love you
all you who are coming
see you there
all you who don't intend to
go to hell
all you who honestly truly
cannot make it...
send flowers.

ARSENIC AND OLD LACE

Gross Theatre
Carver Hall
Bloomsburg University
Friday and Saturday
8pm
Sunday
3pm
$6
with
Mark Boberick
Donna Goobic
Mark Lehnowsky

directed by
Jim Slusser

Fun times, kids.

Kelly,
wonderful to see you

Lisa,
thanks for the roses

underground

so here we are gang
on the other side of the fence, today
watching our neighbors
grieve in fear

I want to grab the whole city
in one armful
and hug them for hours

we'll show you how to cope
we've got that down to a science

foolish self, thought it would be us
the next time around

washington

east coast, definitely

what can the west coast offer a terrorist?

surfing and the new Marc Jacobs boutique

can you see it scrolling across the bottom of your screen - on CNN?

allow me -

"14 anorexic bitches, 2 celebrities, 12 faggots, 4 french poodles, 7 pomeranians, 5 dozen mary jane pumps and a whole rack of chinchilla trench coats perish in LA Marc Jacobs al-qaeda attack. In other news - Beyonce has announced she no longer wishes to use the term "Bootylicious"

Lil' Kim

So Lil' Kim
and her breasts
have been sentenced
to 1 year
and 1 day
in the lil' slammer

what fun!

but - why 1 MORE day?

do we really think that after
a year and a day
in jail
shes really going to say
when asked
"How long were you in for?"

"a year...AND 1 day"

that day is never going to count
now, 2 Days...
I'm sure she'd consider it

2 days is a little
more worthwhile

that makes me happy
she's worthless

a whole year without her
and her hideous wardrobe
It's a dream come true.

so what else, what else...

ooo - Landslide
in west nanticoke
tilbury terrace
which has 1 road
for both directions

whos idea was that?

so here comes this landslide
and blocks the road

so all of the terrace people
DR and DR Gardner included
were stuck
for hours
while the road was backhoed

not quite as fun
as Lil' Kim.

now THAT'S news.

but what is wrong with this country?

martha stewart did nothing wrong
and shes jailed
and Lil' Kim -
well I don't know where
I'm going with this...
b/c obviously Lil' Kim is a felon
what that girl does to VERSACE!
christ!

speaking of Martha
she says she knows
how to remove the ankle bracelet
you know - that alarm thingy
she told that
to VANITY FAIR
oops.
I bet her publicist
had an aneurysm.

how do you spell aneurysm?